The Daughter (TD) got her ears pierced this past week. Not a big deal except, I am South Asian, and in my community girls get their ears pierced almost as soon as they are born. I don’t think I have ever seen a baby girl over the age of two months without pierced ears in India. I apparently had my ears pierced when I was still a wrapped up bundle at the grand old age of four weeks. I slept through the piercing! TD was a trooper, and apart from a brief grimace, successfully emerged from the store with pierced ears.
We were sent home with a free toy and a huge bottle of solution which we now have to dab on TD’s ears three times a day. TD was more interested in the shiny new toy she got than her earrings. Figures.
In other news, I feel like my brain has a big hole in it. I am trying to actively start a job search but I am putting many roadblocks and obstacles in to my own path- mostly mental. I want to go back to work full time, earn a steady income, have some more disposable income to do some things I’ve been wanting to do for a while, save a lot more for retirement and for TD’s college but (isn’t there always a but?) I also enjoy the flexibility I have right now of being able to work from home, part time work, earning enough, and with time to spare to volunteer at TD’s school. TD is six and will soon start first grade and I often think of the demands of a full time job and what it will do to TD.
On the other hand, what about me? What about the skills and talents I have which I want to put to good use? Is it selfish of me to want this when I feel like I should be home for TD? Even with my part time work, there are days when I am with TD for only an hour because she is at school in the mornings and I teach in the evening.
What to do?